I choose my words cautiously (though i ain't a politician), because it's a complex phenomenon. It's not something as glorified as puberty, or as fascinating as teenage - it's the death of something as simple as childhood - & I'm suddenly faced with the fact that I'm an Adult now. More importantly, I'm a kid no more.
I was crowned with Excellent performance award in a substantially sized flock at my place of work. Something to cheer about after a lull in college life. That was only yesterday, & unexpected for an eleven-month experienced employee, still yearning to learn, to excel. A heavy envelope with a good amount of monetary award along with a certificate brought smile, & an equal amount of fear - I'm a pro now.
I don't know how convincing that might sound. I'm not an escapist for sure. & I swear by God I'm not the most talented but one of the most hard working man - as certified by my bathroom mirror. But then I'm not sure if i wanted to handle so many responsibilities - so soon.
Lately, I've been filing tax for the last fiscal year, making plans for investment for the current fiscal year, planning on when to buy a laptop for myself, clearing off my credit card/cell phone bills, getting my bike registered with Maharashtra's number, visiting doctor quite frequently in recent to get rid of feverish feelings, planning to take some time out for gym out of my packed schedule, struggling with insomnia at times, & many more parallel thoughts. All this apart from the fact that I'm working roughly 12-13 hours a day, 5 days/week, often skipping lunch, & quite frequently spoiling weekends as well owing to on-call/weekend supports. I have no time to pick calls from even parents/girlfriend, forget friends. I have a PS2 at home but barely have time to touch it. That's just an outline.
It's fine though. Nothing's a problem. Sometimes you're heavily loaded, sometimes you're not. I feel proud to be efficient in work, & systematic in lifestyle. But then, suddenly this award came, & I'm confronted with a sullen reality.
I have none to take care of my tired soul. I have none to serve me tea/food. I have none to massage my head with oil or my back with moov as need be. No misgivings, no pampering, no more copying assignments, no more excuses of ignorance on mistakes at work, no, nothing. After 24 years of wandering in this wide world, i realize I'm more of an adult now - & certainly not a kid.
For the very first time in my life, i miss being a child.
For the first time in my life, i feel that I'm held responsible by the air i breathe.
I'm an adult now !!
Teachers back in school taught that it's good to end a piece of writing with a quote...
Damn i suddenly miss school now...
Mujhko yakeen hai, sach kehti theen, jo bhi ammi kehti theen...
Jab mere bachpan ke din the, chaand mein pariyan rehti theen...
Mujhko yakeen hai, sach kehti theen, jo bhi ammi kehti theen...
Jab mere bachpan ke din the, chaand mein pariyan rehti theen...
Mujhko yakeen hai, sach kehti theen, jo bhi ammi kehti theen...
