Helmet, and life...

I've been feeling a little accidentalish lately. To frame it in a better way (so that some stupid craphead doesn't come up with Half-Empty:Half-Full shit), I've been cherishing the gift of life more fondly lately. Hence, i gifted myself a Helmet. & boy 'o' boy, what a hellish ride it has been today.

I never wore a helmet even when it was made mandatory by the Traffic Police in my hometown. I fooled them one way or the other. But when i finally came down to terms of my love for my own life, i bought a beautiful black metallic cover, priced at Rs. 945/-, & i must tell you, this is the first day of my 24 years of ripe life that i wore a helmet for the entire duration i rode. & i swear to life, this was the toughest day of my life at wheels.

Hell man !! This was sicker than my first day. I fondly remember than railway ground, where i rode my Dad's Royal EnField, with my old man on the pillion seat. He gave me several major/minor instructions, & i was certified a sound-driver in no more than a couple of days. I remember that day, & I'll equally remember this. When i could not judge the distance between my bike & the one next to me. Blocked side-views, severely reduced hearing ability, uncomfortable breathing, & the continuous realization of the presence of a big black box on top of my head.

This was the first day i devoted attention to anyone & everyone wearing a helmet (just to ascertain as to whether they are feeling the same anxiety as my poor soul). This was the first day i felt utterly cautious with my balance on wheels (cause i had no idea if I'd bang into a vehicle next to me sideways). This was the first day i had to ponder as to what could be more dangerous - wearing a helmet, or not wearing a helmet :)

Well, it's not only about the helmet is it ? We always witness our parents/elders citing known prevalence of dominance of experience over youthful spirits. We don't do necessary things just on the pretext of living life. But then, age brings in maturity & then you tend to take care of the outer covering of your bones (for example, i just bought a Himalaya Face wash :)). Maybe i ain't seasoned enough to pronounce suggestions on how one should live his life. All is know is that i gotta live longer, love longer.

I have roads to walk, walls to climb...
People to love, souls to bind...
Suddenly the notion of life seems found...
Dreams of glory in my skull helmet bound...

Swine waala flu...

Humanity is close to it's end guys. It's astounding how quickly Pune got it's grip. Half of the city is already sporting face masks. Differnet colors, shapes, textures.

Compelled by the scenario around, & forced by the love of their parents towards their only son, i finally bought a mask today. I was amazed to witness that every single person in that chemist's shop intended to buy a mask, if not already possessing one. All the attendants in the shop were themselves hiding their spout & nose with the green thingy. A man, next to me, asked for a free mask. Shopkeeper told him that free goodies could be avalied only from the Government hospitals. "yahan to paise deke hi milega". & the man walked off the door with a hankerchief covering his mouth. Guy at the counter enquired me as to whether i wanted a normal one. I wondered how many variaties did they have. He showed me a specialized N95 mask (i believe they just borrowed the name from the popular Nokia model). Sparkling white, made of plastic, with a beautiful looking net for breathing. Priced at just Rs. 200/-. I told him swiftly, "normal waala hi de de bhai". & so i bought a Rs. 10/- green coloured mask, made of some cheap cloth. A man standing next to me had a big smile on his face, & said to me, "10 din hi to pehenna hai". I nodded & paid the sum. "Oh wait", i said, keeping myself from handing him the money. "What's this ?" i asked, pointing my index finger to a small pink colored box. He handed it over to me. It was a pack of Wet-Tissues, for wiping off hands & face frequently. I bought that as well (wasn't costly either). We receive several mails from our employer daily suggesting frequent use of those tissues, a quick substitute for washing hands.

a little boy riding a huge camel just walked past my window. Even he was sporting the same green mask.
Most people use them, or the expensive kind, or they just tie a piece of cloth around their mouths. Everyone wants to live. More than that, they fear Death.

We went to a little shop today. I asked him as to why isn't he wearing a mask. He said that he has been warned by his wife to buy one today itself, less he won't be served meals. "Aaj to kharid hi lunga sir pakka". [ Smiles ]

As i crossed past the handicapped uncle in our society freely riding his 3-wheeler cycle, i asked him as to whether he isn't motivated to promote the widely used preventive against the killer flu. He waved his hand in reluctance & said, "come what may. if i'm to die like this, lets face it". A brave reply. (Seems rather foolish to me)

Whether you're brave enough to deny the persistence of the virus around you or not, whether you follow the masses just for the time being to buy a mask for yourself or not, the fact is that all the malls, usually busy streets, all tiny roads, are nearly deserved on this pleasant Sunday. 4 down by far. Some 700 suffering. Manmohan Singh sitting with a committe to analyse the situation. WHO issuing warnings persistently. People hoarding up to buy masks vigorously. News channels covering the sequence ferociously. Rumors of infected people in next office, next building, next apartment quite frequent. Parents advicing their children, living close to the prone cities, with whatsoever information they possess. People uncertain about the cure, if any, available. Pandemics brings humans to a real close. They tend to cuddle when struck by something really terrifying.

My poor worried mother asked me to take a leave immediately & come back home for as long as it lasts. All i could do is tell her that this is simply not possible.

We fear death. Let's face it !!

Some auspicious days

I can't recall since how many years have i been acquainted to the culture of Mother's Days, Father's days, Friendship's days & the likes. Can't be much for sure. But then, we always find hardliners even amongst us - ones who are ardent supporters to the cause of these occasions, & the other more substantial half - challenging the relevance of such auspicious days to our great fanatical Indian culture.

Now, to which genre i belong hardly matters. It's not about the "I" word.

This was one of the most celebrated Friendship's day of my life. Two friends from Mumbai came along just for the occasion (they were probably looking for just a well deserved break from their daily schedule).

A third friend (too zealous for all this stuff) brought along a splendid 1 pound of heavenly mouth-watering Black-Forest cake just for the moment when the clock strikes 12.

Some beer clashed (pretty much normal for a get together like these). When i woke up in the morning, i already had a bunch of unread msgs on ma cell phone wishing the same. I even went a step further by wishing Friendship's day to our newspaper delivery guy. Then we did hit streets for sure. Witnessed extraordinary crowd at every single place. Seems like people really crave for such days.

Makes little sense to me. But then, it's fine, isn't it ? People are happy. Have a reason to celebrate. A chance to call up friends, maybe wish them up on msgs/social communities. an excuse for outings. How could it be bad ? how can it degrade a culture however vivid/small it is ? Let people do whatever they want to. It's fine !!

He-Jeans/She-Jeans

Act I Scene I

[ At the apartment. Me lying still on the bean bag, sipping on my cup of tea ]
Enters a friend, frustrated.

Friend: yaar tujhse subah se keh raha hun kahin chal le. main ghar mein pada pada bore ho gaya hun
Me: ruk main tere liye bhi chai banata hun. tab tak tu TV dekh.
Friend: nahin yaar. mujhe chai nahin peeni.
Me: abe to coffee pi le. beer pi le. paani pi le. P**** mat pi.
Friend: mujhe bahar jaana hai. mast mausam bhi ho raha hai.
Me: koi kaam ho to chalenge. warna I'm OUT !!
Friend: mujhe jeans leni hai, khoob saari. ab to chal.
Me: chal bhai.

Act II Scene I

[ A big mall, at the men's casualwear section ]

Friend: yaar Levi's leni thi. kuch saala pasand hi nahin aa raha.
Me: to Pepe try kar le.
Friend: nahin yaar. i hate Pepe.
Me: Flying Machine ?
Friend: aur koi brand nahin hoti kya jeans ki ?
Me: How about Lee ?

Act II Scene II

[ surfing through the Lee stock ]

Friend: yaar yahan bhi kuch nahin hai. i'm irritated now.
Me (to Lee attendant): dost is bande ko khoob saari jeans leni hain. aur kuch pasand nahin aa raha. please ise kuch pasand karwa do yaar. bhagwaan aapka bhala karega.
[ Attendant throws out one after the another, all good ones. ]
Friend: i've picked these 3. trail karke aata hun.

Act II Scene III

[ at the billing counter ]

Friend: maal jeans mil gayin yaar.
Me: how much did they cost.
Friend: buy 2 get 1. 3800 ki 3 padin.
Me: wow !!
Friend: yaar pata hai 1 jeans to gajab fitting ki hai yaar. matlab itni low waist hai ki zip pe puri band nahin hoti.
Me (a little surprised): really ? anyways.

Act III Scene I

[ back to apartment after the shopping spree. Me busy with my lapop ]
[ Suddenly a cry, as in howling or something ]

Friend: yaar. gajab ho gaya yaar. gajab ho gaya.
Me: abe kya ho gaya b*****ke ?
Friend: yaar 1 jeans ladkiyon ki aa gayi.
Me: kaise pata ?
Friend: yaar bill mein likha hai dekh.
[ i verify - it was true ]
Friend: ruk main pehen ke dikhata hun. tu bata theek lag rahi hai na.
[ he wears, tugs up that tiny zip (then we realised the secret of small zip ]
Friend: kaisa lag raha hun yaar main ? (with a deep expectance on his face)
Me: abe mast lag raha hai. tension mat le.
Friend: abe tension kaise na lun. ladkiyon ki jeans hai.
Me: to kisi bandi ko gift karde.
Friend: abe 34 waist ki bandi kahan se dhoondh ke laun !!

Me (after a little inspection): by the way, 2 out of your 3 jeans are meant for gals :)
Friend: ye baat hum dono ke alawa kisi ko pata nahin chalni chahiye.
Me: oh be assured from my side !! i'm a true friend.



PS: & hence this blog !!