Recent Past

There were days when i was gloomy in my head, drooling in overworked psyche, & too tired to focus on vehicles passing by, as i drove late at night. And time flew by in superlatives.

Trotted past one single novel in 6-7 months; friend bought a hefty tagged D-SLR, another friend blinked on the shores of a possible love marriage; Cell phone bills; credit card payments; some minutes of television before much needed sleep; Some cricket India played, not sure against whom; some nice EPL goals; Rahul Mahajan in a swayamvar, & bits i called glue together in passage of time. Leave the above mentioned apart, & I've been 100% detached with life off work.

Workaholic - may be. Tired - for sure.
Background Image of blog template got ripped off net. & i came to know only after a friend advised me to delete the penis-enlargement ad posted in my blog comments. & then came an emphatic gasp "Wow ! I've been really busy."

Work is mystifying. & Praise inspiring. Challenges, some of them, call for anything & everything that is worth trading for some piece of good work. But what's prized the most is the companionship. In times of crazy workload, in those minutes of frustrated hustle, in anxiety of those itsy-bitsy achievements or murderous mistakes. Beyond ranks, beyond knowledge gaps, beyond years of experience, stands to exist a patronage of leaders of men; fearlessly, seamlessly, nonchalantly performing the task they are best at.

Treacherous busy roads calls for a lull, as in a long sleep after an insomniac week. Splendid home-cooked meals, some "champi" in that head by the lady you were born of, television, company of people you love, & sleep, lots & lots of it. & then you are back, rejuvenated with rest, with thoughts, with plans, with dreams, with spirits, & with immense desire to be back at work - doing, what you supposedly do best !!

Kids no more...

This marks the end of an era. The long leisurely walk through the lush green pathway is suddenly, and gradually, over. Gradual, by biotic nature of life; Sudden, by human nature to deny any unfavorable change. But mystifying words with interpretations won't really help - it's gone. & most changes are irreversible.

I choose my words cautiously (though i ain't a politician), because it's a complex phenomenon. It's not something as glorified as puberty, or as fascinating as teenage - it's the death of something as simple as childhood - & I'm suddenly faced with the fact that I'm an Adult now. More importantly, I'm a kid no more.

I was crowned with Excellent performance award in a substantially sized flock at my place of work. Something to cheer about after a lull in college life. That was only yesterday, & unexpected for an eleven-month experienced employee, still yearning to learn, to excel. A heavy envelope with a good amount of monetary award along with a certificate brought smile, & an equal amount of fear - I'm a pro now.

I don't know how convincing that might sound. I'm not an escapist for sure. & I swear by God I'm not the most talented but one of the most hard working man - as certified by my bathroom mirror. But then I'm not sure if i wanted to handle so many responsibilities - so soon.

Lately, I've been filing tax for the last fiscal year, making plans for investment for the current fiscal year, planning on when to buy a laptop for myself, clearing off my credit card/cell phone bills, getting my bike registered with Maharashtra's number, visiting doctor quite frequently in recent to get rid of feverish feelings, planning to take some time out for gym out of my packed schedule, struggling with insomnia at times, & many more parallel thoughts. All this apart from the fact that I'm working roughly 12-13 hours a day, 5 days/week, often skipping lunch, & quite frequently spoiling weekends as well owing to on-call/weekend supports. I have no time to pick calls from even parents/girlfriend, forget friends. I have a PS2 at home but barely have time to touch it. That's just an outline.

It's fine though. Nothing's a problem. Sometimes you're heavily loaded, sometimes you're not. I feel proud to be efficient in work, & systematic in lifestyle. But then, suddenly this award came, & I'm confronted with a sullen reality.

I have none to take care of my tired soul. I have none to serve me tea/food. I have none to massage my head with oil or my back with moov as need be. No misgivings, no pampering, no more copying assignments, no more excuses of ignorance on mistakes at work, no, nothing. After 24 years of wandering in this wide world, i realize I'm more of an adult now - & certainly not a kid.

For the very first time in my life, i miss being a child.
For the first time in my life, i feel that I'm held responsible by the air i breathe.
I'm an adult now !!

Teachers back in school taught that it's good to end a piece of writing with a quote...
Damn i suddenly miss school now...

Mujhko yakeen hai, sach kehti theen, jo bhi ammi kehti theen...
Jab mere bachpan ke din the, chaand mein pariyan rehti theen...
Mujhko yakeen hai, sach kehti theen, jo bhi ammi kehti theen...

Language of love !!

We have weekly status meetings on friday here in office. I remember right before the first meeting i was attending, my manager, who happens to sit right behind me, uttered with a wicked smile on his face, "CHALO". I was heavily engrossed in work, but i was lured to turn back to him, because that hindi word came from an Israeli mouth, who knew precisely when to speak it.

Startled, i asked him, "what did you just say ?". With a big pride and smile on his face, he repeated "Chalo !!". & i've been hearing this word on almost all fridays since then. He had learnt one hindi word, by-heart, & he remembers exactly when to throw it. It brings smiles on all Indian faces around.

We are a bunch of Indians here, many Israelis, & a few local Finnish guys. So it's a mixed breeding of several cultures. & it's fun.

Yesterday, Daniel, another guy from an application team came up to discuss a few things with us. But we were all busy, & heavily loaded. So he went to another Indian guy, & asked him, "How do you say this in hindi - i'm very busy today". He got his answer, recited it a few times, memorized it within a minute, & then came back to us - "Aaj bohot kaam hai ?" & we all burst into laughters. He wasn't sure whether he was pronouncing it the proper way, but he knew we already understood. We told him, "Haan, aaj bohot kaam hai". All smiles !!

I myself tried a couple of words/phrases, but i can't hold it long enough. It goes off after a couple of times (Apart from the fact that i still remember the maddu work Entraa, & a few more). It's not about learning a new language, it's not about self-improvement. That's simply enjoying life. Trying to communite to others in their language. The universal language. The reason why i could bear Spanish songs without understanding them at all (I've actually started to enjoy Finnish rock songs as well). It's the language of love.

One fine day, my manager had a strong urge to learn counting in Hindi. So a friend of ours searched youtube for a song, & told him "This song will teach you counting till 13". & there it began. He asked, "who's she ?". We replied, she's the bollywood hearthrob Madhuri dixit, dancing on a hit number ek-do-teen. He said "Leave the counting. I'm liking the dance. We are all dirty men after all"

I'm happy i've such people around me. & it makes little sense to me why & how people go fighting over caste, creed, religion, nationality.

As Luc de Clapiers, marquis de Vauvenargues aptly said,
Great men, like nature, use simple language...

All people smile in the same language, isn't it !!

Recession : to me !!

Much have been said & written on recession. Seems to be the most talked-about subject the people of my age would have witnessed in their lifetimes. Now i always thought what recession implies on normal people - people like us, people like me. i mean as far as you are healthy enough on your professional front, you won't really feel the heat, obviously apart from the provocative thought process.

Now for me, & people like me, a few prevalent factors are

• * Job is fine & sound. Some effort to keep it that way, if not improve the bets.
• * Things are getting cheaper (adidas Ts literally cost just Rs. 400/- now). Go buy-buy.
• * Expect prices to fall for things you're planning to buy. Not a Problem. Pleasant wait, as they say.
• * Insecurity, due to copious news/rumors of layoffs in some part of the world or the other.
• * A feeling of not spending too much, in expectancy of something unfortunate that might happen.
• * Following RBI for it's moves (although we don't understand them in entirety).
• * Loads of stuff for discussion. Loads of Articles by economists to read. Loads of mail-chains & forwards spreading the news - of layoffs, of salary cuts, & so-on.

Other than that, it's just fine. We smoke, we drink, we party, we Rock !!
We Indians (to be specific), don't feel the heat until the brick falls right onto our heads !!

Now, i'm a man, sitting at home, on a specific Thursday, with no idea how to pass my time, just for the fact that i'm bound to take a certain number of leaves before March 31st (so are all my colleagues) so that my company can save some money on the rolls. (i don't complain though, it's a Spectacular cost-cutting measure, without a significant toll on Employees).
PS: i shouldn't be explaining any more of that, so as to abide by work ethos

Now, that's the first Direct impact of Recession i've felt in these bad times. & i can assure all of you, there'll be more to come . We are living in bad times. Frankly speaking, i'm still not effected by the collapsing market, apart from the fact that i'm now in a similar state of mind as him...



i'm BORED dude !!

My First Automation

A lil happy today :)

i made a script today, on my own. Since i had that amazing session with Shantanu (God bless him), i have had a strong urge to dedicate myself to Shell scripting. But then, that calls 4 takin time out of ur work responsibilities and then pull hairs when u r on it. i mean, at d first glance, sed/awk are bloody scary, aren't they?

today, finally, i thought i'd giv it a break. i got stuck at every step, pulled my locks on evry pathetic problem that arose, and finally got done with a 34 line code. Might be a cinch for geeks, but it was d very first fish i trapped.

Shell is funny u c. Sucks at times. the black screen gets in2 the back of ur head. But as Shantanu said, it is worth dedicating a life. i feel the same urge, but that needs a lil bit of time, as well as enthusiasm. Not preaching, no. It's just that i'm happy.

every new language takes time 2 b picked. i know many of them, if not a lot, so i can say that 4 sure. now i made the script for one particular account, it worked. but i wanted to give the account as a parameter, and when i did cd ~$1/((something..)) it failed, & i had no clue why. Now how would i know that tilda won't bloody work here. so i had to search for absolute path in a flexible way. to be specific, grep for the entered variable in a particular file that stores all the account details and then use awk and so on. (please pardon me for puttin in a lil technical things, if u don't get them)

The gist is that i learnt a lot. Every new error, that arose out of ignorance or a petty mistake, gave me insight into Shells, & into life. That's how life is right !!

gharwaalon ne bola, achche doston ke saath raha karo beta (way back in 6th). i defied - i know who i'm with. & i later realised i was better off him. gharwaalon ne bola dawai khaana nahin chodna (for a certain illness). i quit, & saw severe repurcussions, & i make sure i take the tablets daily now. there r a million examples that i can mention here, but that wil make u yawn right? i ain't an Obama or sumthin. This is a very simple filthy caricature that talks to u.

Poeple around u put in their efforts to guide u, with the experiences they have had. but u have 2 c 4 urself. u can read a million books on any programming language, but u won't get it until u try (except at the campus placement times. read a buk thrice, and go give the written + interview in flying colors. hehe)

Anyways, i'm gonna c more shell scripting now. Automating tasks is a part of our annual objectives as well. so that can b taken as a liability as well in a market fuelling with recession. but seems lyk, i'm lovin it !!

Dreams fulfilled !!

I neva thot things come is such a realistically true fashion, without a knock, without a chance to drop jaws, & unexpectedly, while u r working.

Now office is sumthin not many people wud lyk bein calld a haven. things sting at tyms. things dat mak u crave for a day off. needles 2 mention, dat forced the xpression TGIF in2 xistance (go google if u r stil ignorant). n at tyms u don't really realise that a vknd has just passd by (which is xctly what happened wid me last sunday nyt, when i, as a whippin shock, realised - 'Damn, it's office 2morrow'). Dreams comin true is a point of elation, but sumthin perfectly normal when u liv a carefre lyf. But under d tiresum circumstances as mentioned above, a dream comin tru, probably is a dream in itself. Wel, not alwz (n dat's d inspiration behind dis piece of writin).

Was scrollin thru d stuff shared by guyz on the intranet in ma office. a colleague (n a friend) of myn is so very fond of futbal, as any of the brazilian players, the point bein reflectd in his e-mail signatures, his passionate talks about futbal, his blogs, his celebration of India winnin the AFC Challenge Cup 2008, how he cursd the indian media for not coverin the victory, and d talks of his own team, their matches, n innumerabl such things.

[ Gist - fubal drips from evry drop of his blood ]

Now, 4 such a personality, what wud b a dream ? sumthin once fulfilled, is worth cherishin 4 a lyftym ? I got the answer whn i found a folder titled "UK Pics of that Sunday!". n d title itself was so captivating that i cud barely hold-on befor my fingers tapped twice 2 c what moments of glory lies within. A glimpse at the contents of that folder is included in this post

[ it is made sure that d privacy is not breached. he's not visibl here. if it stil offends u Tatha, please accept my sincere apologies ]

Arsenal !! Emirates Stadium !! u know what dat means damn it !!
hah. Been there, done that !!

On-job, on-site, working, and a lyftym dream fulfilled. damn !!
dats how lyf is ryt, suprises, surprises, surprises !!
dat smile on his face whn he poses against d arsenal logo on d stadium walls is stupendous.

Now, if dats how dreams r fulfilled -

Lord, i'm ready to work, al clad wid smiles, 24x7, 12x30, 365xinfinity,
n whtevr calculations represent a lyftym !!
Just keep ma dreams comin in please :)