First Drop In a New City !!

Ysterday !! it wasn't a downpour, a cloudburst. it didn't even crop up enough to form a sphere. it was just a glimmer, a shine, a sparkle. Out of grief or out of joy, m not very sure. But yes, it brought anxiety, a tremor, n a hel lot of thought provocation.


First job, a new city, stil a month for the first salary to b credited, n i, short on cash, with d skysoarin rent and brokerage for the flat we chose, went on to withdraw 700 bucks frm the SBI ATM, d last of what i had. As i was carefully plannin ma xpenses til money comes in, the guard posted on the ATM reached out ma hand. I didn't feel him hot then though.

[Backdrop : I first met the guard a cupl of days ago, n v conversed, later realisin that he was from a place close to ma hometown. 2000kms away frm home, n a person close frm ur place feels really like a close relative. ]

On the eventful day, he askd me for money, some of it. n i was taken back, reasonably enuf. i mean, no mattr what d amount was. u meetin a person for jst d 2nd tym in ur lyf, n he asks u for a favour, dat too a monetory one. Past swept across ma face, whence, 5 yrs back, i gav money to a person who claimed to live in a remote place nearby, as his bike was out of oil. 100 bucks, which obviously, neva came bck. So, retrospectively, i claimed petty xcuses, jstifyin sumhw,

"Sir, i can't do that"

He was stil adament, i turned furious. But when he said that he had high fever, n dat he was wearin a sweater within, in strong daylight (n he really showed it to me), i was remorseful, n realised how impolite i've become.

[Development of Thoughts: Me, or the entire society ?? Who's to blame ? Me, why ? i went thru a bad xperience once, n dat reflected in ma reaction to the 60+ man. was it my fault ? yes, it was, without d slightest tinge of doubt. but the partner-in-crime, or rather the one completely responsibl, was d man who neva gav me back those 100 bucks. was it my fault at al ??]

I askd him how much he wanted. he said "20-30 rupaye beta, bas. main kal lauta dunga aapko". my wallet had d least denomination of 100, which i offered to him, without a second thought. He was confused (i really dunno why). n he said he dusn't want dat much, instead he requestd me 2 buy him d medicine frm d nearby medical store. i did d same. n al it took was 5 minutes, and 4 rupees.

Parting ways, i laid ma hand over his shoulder, askin him to tak care, n hav d medicine on time. He gav me a smile, n i jst couldn't bear it. As i turned ma back n walked ma way towards ma flat, sumthin flickered in ma resentful eyes. I didn't let it flow, it tried to thou, but i didn't let it (they say, men don't cry).