Feb 1, 2011

An Impediment to the Pet bonding

Bhauuuu ! Aweee i liked the fluffy girl that went past a few minutes back. She was a blond, with a brown collar. Good she wasn't wearing a green nail-polish like her master. These guys do crazy things with themselves, spare the dogs. Anyways, I was just watching 'Bruce Almighty' yet again, & that polka-dotted brother he had made me giggle with that pee off the toilet seat, flush & all. Best was the newspaper-reading-shit in style, & the awe-struck woman at that sight. I just rolled my tongue over my face, twice, imagining myself doing that.

Speaking of masters, I'd like to have one some day. I know a handsome bloke, who had wished to befriend one of my breed since his young age. The Alsatian kind. I dream fetching him newspapers & him walking me pissing over those tree trunks with a haunch raised. But these humans you know, they can't breathe easy, ever. That guy had her mother convinced over me, well, almost, but the elder in their gene don't give up easily, & are unabashed at any argumentation. So he grieved. & so did i, brooding over breadcrumbs people threw. Then that boy got hold of a girlfriend out of nowhere. & just when i thought he'd be young enough to pursue his desires, he got laid over the girl-power. Obviously when asked to choose over a shitty dog, & a shitty girlfriend, he went for the girl thing.

I don't blame him though. I mean, look at them. They are slaves. They have their fathers, their mother, brothers, sisters, their girlfriends, their boyfriends, husbands, wives, in-laws, ex-s & what the shit not. We are much better placed as pets. Oh, i pity him. I'll gift him a teddy puppy some day when i get earning.

There's one state of arts though that we canines hold prowess over, as compared to the supposed self-acclaimed creators of super-computers. It's Girls ! you know how it goes. Free lunches. Just don't ask how good a time I've had at this front. The famous pleasure-style is named after us, in case you are still sissy. I'd been trying to practice the art of kissing though lately. It's tough with a beaked mouth, you can imagine. I've watched the acclaimed best-kiss in a recent bollywood flick - some band-baja something it was named (my uncle, named Dogspeare, said once, "bhau bhau, bhau bhau bhau" - which transcripts to "what's in the name"). Now don't frown at me with those hollow eyes as to how could i manage a blog in English, my native language being doggish (I obviously used Google translator man ! c'mon scum !)

I'll cut it short here. Gotta see somebody ! Keep sulkin' at your miserable lives mate !

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